Landslide
by energy
Summary: A sad and dreary Taishirou/Kouchi. Koushirou is sick and Tai is beginning to lose it. Chapter 6 up.
1. Landslide Chapter 1

Welcome one and all. This is Landslide, a song inspired by the Dixie Chicks song as well as an episode of ER I saw. This will be a sad fic, I'll warn you now. I won't spoil it now, but you will be able to probably guess the story in a handful of chapters. This is going to be an emotion- heavy fic, so you might want to get a few tissues ready.  
  
This fic sort of takes place during my other story A Redhead's Wish, but it isn't necessarily the way that ARW will end. It might someday become that way once I run out of ideas for it. Until then, just bear with me. In this story, Taichi has lived with the Izumi's for a few years now after his parents were deemed unfit to care for him or Kari any longer. They became very close friends in a hurry, no big surprise, and it evolved into love eventually. I will go on and tell you that you might need a box of tissues for the later chapters. Enjoy and let me know what you think.  
  
"Hey Tai, slow down for a minute." Koushirou called out. They had been walking along the beach and all of a sudden Koushirou was dog tired. Tai stopped and turned to face his boyfriend and saw that he'd fallen a good ten paces behind.  
  
"Come on, slowpoke, we're going to miss the sunset, not to mention dinner," Tai called while he was standing, hands on hips, the sea breeze blowing his hair everywhere.  
  
"I'm coming, Tai." Koushirou told him as he slogged up the thick sandy bank as fast as he could. Tai watched as his koibito stumbled up the bank and fell to his knees at Tai's feet. Koushirou was breathing heavy, like he'd run a marathon, not just walked a half mile.  
  
"Are you okay, Koushirou-kun? You look very peaked."  
  
"I'm alright. I, well, I don't know what hit me. I was just tired."  
  
"Can you make it back?" Tai asked him, alarm brewing in the corners of his mind.  
  
"Yeah, just let me rest for a second or three." Tai sat down beside Koushirou and put an arm around his shoulders.  
  
"Ready?" He asked after a minute or so had passed.  
  
"Yeah. That was really weird, Tai. I was fine before we turned around by the pier, but maybe halfway back I felt like I'd not slept in a week." Taichi looked at him, considering making a bigger deal out of it than Koushirou was, but stopped when he saw the light reflecting in his koi's eyes. He looked absolutely beautiful right then. Tai smiled instead, choking back the questions he wanted to ask and stood  
  
"Thanks," Koushirou said as Tai pulled him to his feet. The two of them brushed sand from their rears and began heading back to the hotel. "We'd better hurry, Tai. We don't want to be late for dinner again.."  
  
The previous night, their first in Australia, the only thing that the two of them were requested to do all day was to be back at the Izumi's room by seven o'clock. Well. By no intentional fault of their own, they had arrived nearly an hour late. They'd simply lost track of time while playing on the beach and therefore made them miss their dinner reservations on the veranda. Mara hadn't said anything to the two of them about it, but they knew she was upset with the whole incident, and her being upset with them was worse than any punishment that Koushirou could imagine.  
  
They made decent time on their way back. Tai slowed his pace to allow the shorter legged boy to keep up with him. He kept glancing at Koushirou from the corner of his eye while they were walking, seeing the exertion on his boyfriend's face. He put an arm around Koushirou's shoulders and slowed a bit more.  
  
"Koushirou, you're sure you're feeling okay, right? You wouldn't try to hide anything from me, would you?"  
  
"Tai-chan, honestly, I am fine as far as I know. Maybe it's just a little bit of jet lag or something finally catching up with me. I'll just go to bed a little early tonight and I bet I'll be fine in the morning." Tai didn't really buy that, but he had no reason to doubt Koushirou, so he let the subject drop.  
  
They made it back to the room after one quick stop and still had time to spare; fifteen minutes to be precise. Each boy took a quick sand- removing shower and dressed and the four of them made their way to the veranda for their dinner reservation. Their seats were perfect, right on the edge of the patio. The sun was just beginning to go down and the few clouds that were hovering somewhere near the Great Barrier Reef started to turn incredible shades of red, blue, and orange.  
  
Mara and Luke Izumi were watching the sunset for all its glory. Their two children, one natural, one not, stared out with their minds filled with questions.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Into Taichi's Mind ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
I wish I knew what was wrong with Koushirou. I know something is wrong, but I don't know how I know. He's slept a lot since we've been here. Heck, he even slept most of the way here on the plane. That's not like him at all. When we all flew over to see Mimi last year, his face was plastered in the window almost the whole way, not that there was a lot to see except the ocean.  
  
I wanted to pick him up and carry him back after we stopped that last time. Koushirou said he was 'just tired' or that it might be the start of a growth spurt. I was upset and I sure didn't want him to notice, so I told him that I hoped it was a growth spurt so that maybe I'd stop getting cramps in my neck when I kiss him. He liked that and we made it back to the hotel room shortly.  
  
I wish my mind would turn itself off and let me stop worrying about it. I don't want to make a big deal out of it if Koushirou isn't. I can't help it though. I care too much about him to not worry. I guess this is the kind of feeling that our parents have for us; unconditional love and concern. I really do hate seeing him like this, though.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Into Koushirou's Mind ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Man, what is wrong with me these last few days? It feels like I have lead in my feet. I've slept more in the last few days than I have in forever. I took a long nap the day before we left, slept almost all the way here, fell asleep by 930 last night, and I'll likely do the same tonight. With me sleeping as much as I have been, I shouldn't be tired again until sometime next year.  
  
Maybe this is just a vacation thing. We've been through so much in the last few years, with the digital world adventures and all. Maybe my body just needs to recoup its energy or something. Whatever it is, I hope I get over it soon so I will stop ruining Tai's time here. I don't want him to spend this week worrying about me.  
  
Look at him, sitting over there. He has just a dab of chocolate on his face, just above his lip. He looks so cute right now. I hope he's not worrying about me. Tomorrow I am going to be perfectly fine and we can go out and have a good time.  
  
Their dinner plates were cleared off and they shortly left the patio and headed back to the rooms. Koushirou and Tai followed the parents into the larger room and sat around with them for about a half hour or so. The sun was now completely down and the moon was just visible over the horizon, reflecting on the water. Koushirou's eyelids began to droop and Tai decided that it would be good to get him on to bed before he fell asleep  
  
"Come on, Koushirou, let's go. I'm tired, you look tired. We've got a big day of doing nothing tomorrow to get ready for."  
  
"Yeah, I'm beat. We'll see you guys at breakfast tomorrow," Koushirou said, waving to his mum and father.  
  
"Sleep tight, you two," Mara said as they walked to the door and to their room across the hall. Luke was already asleep on the couch, snoring loudly. Koushirou sported a tired grin as he shut the door behind him.  
  
"Let's get you into bed, Kou-chan. You look like you're about to drop right here in the doorway."  
  
"I feel like I could, Tai-chan. It feels like I had all the energy sucked out of me." Koushirou tossed the semi-dressy shirt on a chair and his pants soon followed. He pulled the covers back on one side just enough to climb in and let out a big sigh of contentment and tiredness. Tai came over and pulled the sheets up to his boyfriend's chin.  
  
"Goodnight, Kou-chan. I hope you feel loads better in the morning," Tai told him as he bent over and kissed him on the forehead. "Maybe you will have grown a few inches overnight and I won't get the neck pains anymore." Tai saw Koushirou smile sleepily and begin falling asleep before a rebuttal could make its way out. Koushirou mumbled something and he was out quicker than a candle in a hurricane.  
  
Tai stood and watched his love drift off into sleep and continued watching for another few minutes. Finally he moved and went to the mini- fridge and pulled out a can of Sprite. He went to the mini-bar, and after a few seconds search, found what he was looking for. He added the small bottle to the Sprite in a cup and had recreated the drink that one of the beach bartenders had allowed him and Koushirou to sip during the heat of the day. Tai winced as the first draught went down, but it was worth it. The bartender told him that it was guaranteed to take his mind off his problems.  
  
Koushirou turned on his side and Tai jerked to attention, thinking something might be wrong. After he calmed down, Tai half-smiled and dug in his backpack for his Discman and headphones. He took them and the cup out onto the deck and shut the door behind him.  
  
Tai plopped down in one of the chairs and put the phones on. He powered up the small device and was greeted to the sounds of Nine Inch Nails. He listened to Trent Reznor and the music while he drank the beverage he created. He began to grow tired finally; the disc had nearly played through and he decided it was time to head back inside and go to bed himself.  
  
Tai stepped into the room and shivered a bit as the air conditioning hit him. He drank the remainder of his cup and started back to the bed. He paused and watched Koushirou sleep. Something is wrong, I know it. Tai carefully pulled the other half of the covers down and after turning the lamp off, climbed in beside his love. He leaned in close and put an arm over Koushirou in a vain attempt to ward him from whatever illness was stalking him.  
  
  
  
  
  
In case anyone is interested, here are the lyrics to Landslide. If you don't care, you can go on and stop reading here and hopefully leave a review.  
  
Landslide (Originally by Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac) Covered by the Dixie Chicks  
  
I took my love and I took it down Climbed a mountain then I turned around And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills Well the landslide brought me down  
  
Oh, mirror in the sky What is love? Can the child within my heart rise above Can I sail through the changing ocean tides Can I handle the seasons of my life  
  
Uh ah ... uh ah .... uh ah ...  
  
Well, I've been afraid of changin' 'Cause I built my life around you But time makes you bolder Children get older I'm getting older too  
  
Well ...  
  
(Instrumental)  
  
Well, I've been afraid of changin' 'Cause I built my life around you But time makes you bolder Children get older I'm getting older too  
  
Well, I'm getting older too  
  
So, take this love and take it down Yeah, and if you climb a mountain and ya turn around And If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills Well the landslide brought me down  
  
If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills  
  
Well maybe ... Well maybe ... Well maybe ...  
  
The landslide will bring you down. 


	2. Landslide Chapter 2

Thanks to those of you who read this when I posted the first chapter. Like I said before, it's a sad story, and the outcome is likely already apparent. Oh, Electric Star, Stevie Nicks did originally do the song with Fleetwood Mac and that song was alright. The Dixie Chicks covered it for their latest album, Home, and in my opinion made it a much better song. Usually I don't like covers, but this is an exception. Tamagochi, glad you liked it. Now where's that Tamer fic you've been promising for so long now?? Huh? Come on. Jay Man, I promise I'll be as nice as I can. If things get too rough, you could write the producers of ER and tell them. It's there fault. every time I watch the show I always see eps where bad things happen to kids. And Yoshiki, well, you know. Anyway, here we go.  
  
Koushirou woke early the next morning and Tai was still sleeping heavily. Koushirou smiled and slowly rolled out of the bed, careful to let Tai sleep in. He rubbed the eye buggers away and made his way to the bathroom. While he was having his morning pee, he realized how sore he was. It feels like I was hit repeatedly by someone wielding a sock full of stones. He softly groaned while he flushed the toilet and dropped the lid. Maybe a hot shower will do me some good. Koushirou stepped into the shower and felt his muscles slowly relax and the soreness leave his body. When he stepped out of the shower a few minutes later, his skin was nearly as red as his hair, but the soreness was gone.  
  
I actually feel like me again Koushirou dressed quickly, only bothering with a pair of swim trunks and a pair of Speedo sandals. (A/N: that was my 'uniform' while I was in Jamaica. I took a suitcase full of clothes and wore almost none of them. Anyway.) Koushirou stepped to the door and looked out over the Coral Sea. The sun was just beginning to rise above the horizon, only a pinprick of light visible so far. He opened the door and took a deep breath of morning sea air, feeling it invigorate his senses.  
  
He shut the door quietly and reached to Tai's discman. He picked it up and popped the lid open, peering at his boyfriend's choice of music. NIN, nice. Koushirou closed the lid and was about to head out to watch the sun rise from the beach when he decided that Tai might worry if he didn't leave a note. Koushirou quickly scribbled one on the notepad by the phone and after picking up a magnetic key, silently exited the room.  
  
Koushirou made his way down the steps and out on to the beach. He kicked his sandals off and let his feet sink into the sand. Again, he thought to himself that he'd not have even bothered with the sandals in the first place if the hallways weren't quite so unfriendly to feet. (A/N: my only complaint about my Jamaica trip was the hallways-so uncomfortable to walk on. Cobblestone, for some reason) Closer to the water's edge he went, his feet sinking a bit less the closer he got.  
  
Koushirou strode over to a chair near the tide line and sat down. He put the earphones on and hit the play button. Music filled his head as the sun finally crawled up over the horizon. In a few minutes, the sun was high enough to begin shedding its rays over him. The warmth it brought was very welcome, shredding the coolness of the morning air.  
  
He had reached song six and was contemplating how horrible the weather must be at home right now, being early January and all. Koushirou had closed his eyes to avoid the brightness of the sun, a little annoyed he'd forgotten his sunglasses. Suddenly a shadow fell across his eyes and he opened them, determined to find which ignorant cabana boy had stepped in and blocked his sunlight. "Alright, what's---"  
  
"Good morning, sunshine," Tai said as he sat on the end of Koushirou's chair.  
  
"Oh, good morning to you too, Tai," he said a little sheepishly. "Sleep good?"  
  
"I did until I rolled over and found you weren't there. I panicked for a second and then I saw your note after I used the bathroom."  
  
"So you waited to look for me until after that?"  
  
"Well, I didn't really have a choice. I'd prefer not to talk to the police with a big wet spot right in the middle of my pants, Kou-chan." Tai started laughing, envisioning the scenario. Koushirou had no choice but to laugh with him.  
  
"So, how are you feeling today, Kou-chan?"  
  
"A lot better, really. I felt a little bad earlier, but after I took a shower I felt almost as good as new."  
  
"Good, because you're no longer under warranty," Tai said as he grinned at his koi, "and I'd hate to have to replace you."  
  
"Like you could ever replace me anyways, Tai," Koushirou said as he leaned forward and hugged Tai.  
  
"You're right. They have better models out now, newer, better.."  
  
"Hey!!" Koushirou exclaimed as he attempted to toss Tai off the chair. He succeeded, mostly on luck and surprise. They wrestled in the sand for a minute, ending when Koushirou whacked his arm on the chair. "Ouch!! Man!" That ended the festivities quicker than a parent arriving home early. Right on the fleshy part of the upper arm. Koushirou held it in pain.  
  
"Shit!" Koushirou mumbled as he pulled into a half-fetal position.  
  
"Let me see, Kou-chan," Tai said as he tried to pull Koushirou's protective hand away. He slowly succeeded, and saw the beginnings of a large bruise already forming.  
  
"I'm sorry, Koushirou, I didn't mean for that to happen," Tai said remorsefully.  
  
"I know, Tai. It was an accident."  
  
"Well, if nothing else, at least part of you got a bit of color finally." Tai was slightly mocking him. They'd been in Australia for only two days, but Tai already had a great tan going. Koushirou on the other hand simply got red (Us redheads take forever to tan ^_^ )  
  
"Yeah, it's not the type of color I wanted though," Koushirou said as they picked themselves out of the sand. "Let's go get some breakfast, Tai. What do you think about that?"  
  
"I think that is a prodigious idea, Koushirou," Tai told his koi, using his patented word. They walked back up the beach, retrieving the sandals on the way. As they made their way to the hall for breakfast, anyone looking at the two of them from behind would have noticed the ugly patch of black and blue already forming above the elbow of Koushirou's arm.  
  
They stepped into the hall and made their plates from the huge buffet. Everything from fried squid, which they avoided, to a huge pile of cut fruit, which they devoured. They sat on the edge of the deck, looking over the pools, watching as people slowly filtered in. Couples and families took seats and conversations in all sorts of languages slowly grew in intensity.  
  
The two boys passed comments back and forth about the other people, things like how that lady shouldn't be wearing that tight dress, how that old man shouldn't be wearing that little Speedo. Fun things like that. They also rated a few of the boys on a one to ten scale. One being, well, hella unattractive to ten being Tai or Koushirou-like. Most of them fell in the middle. Koushirou's parents came down about ten minutes after they got there.  
  
"Feel better this morning, Koushirou?" Mara asked as she sat down across from him.  
  
"Like I'm a new person. I wish I knew what the deal was yesterday though."  
  
"Maybe your body needed to relax. You kids have been through a lot in the not too distant past, remember."  
  
"Yeah, that's what I'm thinking." Koushirou took a bite of pineapple. "Where's Dad?"  
  
"He's talking to some guy we met yesterday while you two were out. He and your father hit it off like they've been old friends." Mara was smiling as she thought about it. It seemed like something out of the episode of Malcolm in the Middle where new neighbors moved in and the two fathers sat in the garage and listened to old records all afternoon while the wives and kids hated each other. Mara didn't hate the man's wife though. Not yet, anyway.  
  
"Is he as weird as some of Luke's other friends?" Tai asked, thinking about the redneck buddies Luke had back home.  
  
"I think so. I'm not sure why, but he strikes me as odd."  
  
"Well, I don't think he could be any odder than 'Wild Bill'," Koushirou said. (A/N: Wild Bill is one of Luke's truckin' buddies from A Redhead's Wish, in case you care.)  
  
"I think you're right on that." Mara's thoughts drifted back to when they'd gone out to dinner with Wild Bill..scary. Koushirou and Tai thought about the time they'd met him and came to the same conclusion - scary.  
  
Breakfast ended with no sign of Luke, not that his non-appearance really surprised any of the seated three. Mara and the boys left the table and returned to their rooms. Tai was going to change, as was Mara. They had hours of sun to enjoy.  
  
Mara brought her bag of stuff down with them, though the bag was hers in name only. Most of the contents were Tai and Koushirou's stuff. Her only possessions in the bag were a bottle of tanning oil and a book. Everything else, well, you name it and it was likely in there. She sat on a chair and watched her two kids dash into the waves, seemingly six again instead of almost fourteen.  
  
She had gotten nearly halfway through her book, Neil Gaiman's 'Book of Dreams', passing almost three hours before her kids showed back up. They were both dripping sea water all over and Koushirou looked like he was exhausted. Koushirou fell into the nearest chair and laid back with his arms over his face.  
  
"Koushirou, what happened to your arm?" Mara questioned when she saw the ugly bruise.  
  
"I whacked it on a chair earlier today."  
  
"Ouch. I hope you gave the chair a stern lecture," she told him as she lifted her sunglasses to get a better look at it.  
  
"The chair only spoke French," Tai said while laughing, "so there was no point in it." Koushirou looked up at the two of them like they were both aliens, having no clue what was funny about the last exchange. He lay back down and replaced his hands.  
  
Mara watched his chest rise and fall like he'd just ran an entire marathon. She arched her eyebrow slightly. "Koushirou, are you sure you're okay?"  
  
"I think so. I'm really tired now. I think the sun had taken a lot out of me already." Mara only half bought that answer, already having made her mind up to have Koushirou checked up no later than the day they returned from vacation. Tai was in the same line of thinking. He knew something was wrong with Koushirou; he didn't know how he knew, but he did.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Into Kou-chan's Mind We Delve ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
What is wrong with me? Why can't I seem to catch my breath? It's not like I really did anything extremely exertive so far today. I had breakfast and we've played in the waves for a few hours. I shouldn't be this tired already. The one thing I do know is that I'm not going to let Tai spend the day worrying about me. This is his vacation too and I'm not going to ruin it for him. So, it's time to get up and get back in the water.. Maybe after I sit here for a few more seconds.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The Real World ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Koushirou sat up after another couple of minutes, trying not to show any extra effort getting to his feet. "Tag, you're it!" he said, lightly smacking Tai on the top of the head and taking off for the water. Tai grinned at him and jumped up after him and would have easily caught him had it not have been for a giant beach ball rolling in his path. He tried to jump it, but his foot clipped the top of it and he went sprawling into the sand face first.  
  
Koushirou heard the muffled 'thud' and turned back to see Tai lift his face out of the sand and saw a little boy standing with his hands to his face in what looked like a cross between horror and hysteria. Koushirou couldn't hold in the laughter and he burst out, nearly doubling over. Koushirou saw Tai get a smirk on his face while he got up. Tai handed the ball to the little boy and began his dash back to Koushirou. Koushirou dove into the waves with Tai quick behind.  
  
The rest of the day was spent playing in the waves or sitting in the lounge chairs sunning themselves. Koushirou used the times on the chair to surreptitiously rest himself, while claming he was cold and wanted to warm up. By taking frequent rests, Koushirou was able to keep himself from becoming as exhausted he was the previous day. As far as he knew, his ruse worked stellarly.  
  
The next three days were rather easy for Koushirou to pass off as well. Two of them were spent sight seeing in Australia's Interior and the third diving on the Great Barrier Reef. On the first two days he was mostly in a car so his movements were limited. Only on the third was his ruse more difficult to pull off. He spent most of his time under water simply floating in place, watching the fish swim by and his parents snap pictures of the reef. Tai gave up on chasing fish after a few tries and spent most of his time watching crabs patrol the bottom of the reef.  
  
Koushirou laboured back into the boat and slowly took off the equipment when his time was up. It shouldn't have been so tiring doing that. It's not like I really have any appreciable weight down there He sighed as he tossed the fins into the proper bin. Tai came up a few minutes later and after he got into the boat, with no trouble, handed Koushirou a beautiful shell.  
  
"Here, Kou-chan, I thought you'd like this," he said as he duck walked to him. Koushirou took the shell and was stunned by its beauty.  
  
"It's incredible, Tai, I don't know what to say," Koushirou was actually speechless, something that rarely happened.  
  
"You don't have to say anything, Kou-kun, just take it." Koushirou looked it over and watched as it reflected the setting sun. Tai couldn't have given him anything better ever, no matter how hard he tried.  
  
The next four days, their last in Australia, Koushirou spent repeating his earlier plan. He would wake up early, relax in a shower, rest a bit during the day, and go to bed soon after dinner. Each day his rests grew more frequent, the showers a bit longer, the bedtimes progressively earlier.  
  
Mara grew increasingly worried, her son not one to normally do these things. She was heavily considering having a doctor take a look at him here in Australia, but she didn't. She didn't want to make a production out of it just yet. One more day, then I'll have him checked out She kept an eye on him as much as possible, spending her time at the beach a bit more than she'd like.  
  
As they were packing their bags for their final night, Koushirou reflected on the trip. I think Tai had a really good time. I'm glad he didn't spend it worrying about me. Besides, it's not like he had any real reason to. I'm just tired these days.  
  
His parents and Tai had their own ideas about the vacation though. Tai soon realized when Koushirou was getting tired and would claim that he was tired himself, saving Koushirou the burden of taking another break. His worry kept mounting even though Koushirou played it as if nothing was wrong.  
  
After they boarded the plane the next morning, Koushirou fell asleep almost instantly.  
  
  
  
Well, it's getting a bit worse for Kou-chan, huh? You ain't read nothing yet. I'm afraid to say that things will be worse. Anybody want to hazard a guess as to what is wrong with Kou? If you do, send me an email, just in case anybody who doesn't want to know yet happens to read the reviews. I always read other reviews of stories to see what others are thinking and I hate it when I get spoilers. Well, R&R and all that goodness.  
  
energy 


	3. Landslide Chapter 3

Hey, glad to see you all back for chapter 3 of Landslide. So far, I've received one guess as to what Kouchan has, and Electric Star, you're right. Pretty harsh, huh? Like I said, it will be sad.  
  
Oh, and about scuba diving- I went while I was in Jamaica and I really didn't find it all that difficult (tho I was hella in shape at the time so that may have had a bit to do with it.) I can see how it could be hard. I've been a really strong swimmer for about 20 years now, so I guess that really didn't hurt either. Anyway, enough on that. On with the story.  
  
After a lengthy plane ride and the interminable wait for luggage, it was almost 7 by the time the Izumi's reached home. Koushirou disappeared into the bedroom almost immediately and was asleep before Tai had even finished changing out of his travel clothes. He pulled the covers up to just under Koushirou's chin to knock out the bit of chill still lingering in the apartment. Eight days with the heat off left it at a rather uncomfortable 60 degrees. Mara had set the thermostat at 80 the second they walked in, but it was still taking a while to warm up.  
  
Tai was tired as well, but he wasn't quite ready to turn in yet, so he headed to the kitchen to grab a quick snack before he did go to bed.  
  
"Tai, would you toss me the phone?" Mara asked him from across the living room as he walked into the kitchen.  
  
"Sure. Who are you calling?" Tai slid the phone across the carpet to her, trusting his throwing abilities about as much as he trusted her catching abilities.  
  
"I'm calling Dr. Kyoshi's office." Tai nodded and continued into the kitchen. That's our doctor Tai thought as he rooted in the refrigerator for the ingredients for a sandwich.  
  
"Yes, this is Mara Izumi. I'm sorry for calling so late, but I need to bring my son in as early as I can tomorrow.Yes, we just got back and he's been so tired and lethargic for most of the time..Well, I thought about that, but he's not vomited once. I just really would like to get him in there tomorrow..Alright. We'll be there. Thank you."  
  
"So you're taking Koushirou to the doctor in the morning?" Tai asked her as he came out of the kitchen.  
  
"I have to," Mara said, nodding, "something is wrong with him and I want to know what it is."  
  
"I don't blame you," Tai said, sitting next to her on the couch. "I can't remember the last time I have seen him sick." Tai thought back over the last few years and aside from maybe one cold and a bit of spring allergies, Koushirou hadn't been sick at all.  
  
"I know. He wasn't really sick growing up either. That's kind of what has me so worried about him."  
  
"What time are you taking him in?"  
  
"Right after I drop you off at school." Tai groaned. He had pushed the fact he had to go back to school to the farthest recesses of his mind.  
  
"How about I go with you instead? I could use one more day of vacation, you know."  
  
"How about not?" Mara grinned at him and messed his hair up. "I do think that you should go on and run off to bed shortly. You have a few circles under your eyes, you know."  
  
"Exactly why I should go to the doctor with you tomorrow. I might have something too."  
  
"Well, I do think that you're about due for a round of shots. Maybe I can bring you along after all."  
  
"Um, wait. I think I'd better go to school after all. I wouldn't want to miss any knowledge or anything." Mara grinned more and hugged him with one arm.  
  
"I think that is a great idea. Besides, you can tell everyone how much fun you had and show off your tan." Tai smiled back. Sora will be sooo jealous. "Now, go on and get some rest." Tai nodded and got to his feet, scarfing the remainder of his sandwich and after brushing his teeth, went to bed.  
  
The alarm clock screamed what seemed like a few minutes later. Tai groggily rolled over and slammed his hand on the shrilling beast and put it into snooze mode. Eight minutes later it came back to life and seemingly dodged any further attempts to quiet it. Tai gave up trying to hit the snooze button again and settled for knocking it into the trash can next to the table.  
  
"Wake up, Tai, time for school," Koushirou said as he sat up next to Tai, rubbing his eyes.  
  
"No school for you today, boy-o. Your mum is taking you to the doctor this morning."  
  
"What? I'm fine!" Koushirou said indignantly. Tai looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Really. I'm fine."  
  
"Then why have you been sleeping so much? That isn't like you at all."  
  
"I don't know, really. I guess I just needed the rest or something."  
  
"Well, just to make sure, she wants to have you checked out. You know, change the oil, put in new plugs, things like that."  
  
"Grrrr. I guess I really don't have a choice, huh?"  
  
"Nope, not really. Dibs on the bathroom!" Tai pulled Koushirou's covers back over him and jumped out of bed, racing for the bathroom before Koushirou could react.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ About An Hour or so Later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Mara pulled her car into the doctor's office as a bit of snow began to fall. I sure haven't missed that while I was on vacation she thought as Koushirou closed his door and walked up beside her. He still wasn't overly happy about being here, but he resigned himself to going, simply to prove to Tai and his mum that he really was fine.  
  
Koushirou opened the door and allowed Mara to go in first. He considered a brave dash back to the car, but upon the realization that he had no key to the door, he followed behind her. Into the reception room they walked. Since it was still early, only one other mother and child were here. The little girl was sniffling horribly. Koushirou sat as far from her as he could while Mara signed him in.  
  
Koushirou looked around the room. It was just as sterile looking as he remembered it. Pointless paintings on the beige walls. Horribly ugly artificial flowers in vases on tables along side ancient magazines. Oh yeah, this is why I stopped getting sick he told himself. Oh, and the carpet. The carpet defies any explanation. The little girl and her mum disappeared into the back rooms a few minutes later.  
  
"Koushirou Izumi? The doctor will see you now," a nurse said through the window.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Room 4. He'll be right in." the Izumis went back to the fourth room and shut the door behind them. They hung their coats on the hooks by the door and Koushirou settled on the table, jumping a bit as the cold of the vinyl seeped through his pants.  
  
"Holy cow, that's cold! You'd think that they'd have the rooms a little warmer, wouldn't you?"  
  
"Nah, they want to make this as uncomfortable for you and I as they can. Doctors and nurses are immune to cold." Koushirou agreed and they traded small talk until the doctor arrived a few minutes later.  
  
"Good morning Mrs. Izumi, Koushirou. How are you feeling today?"  
  
"Not too bad, really," Koushirou half lied. He didn't feel bad, but again, he didn't feel good either.  
  
"Well then, what exactly has he been doing, Mrs. Izumi? Or not doing, as the case may be." Mara went on to explain everything that happened while they were on vacation, leaving nothing out, the doctor taking many notes.  
  
"Alright. Here's what we're going to do today, Koushirou. We're going to stick you like a pin cushion, take your temperature about eight hundred times, and any other fun things that the nurses and I can think of. Sounds good, right?"  
  
"Oh, I can hardly wait," Koushirou said, silently cursing his mum for bringing him to the comedic doctor instead of a real one.  
  
"Great. The nurse and I will be right back," he said as he stepped out the door.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Meanwhile, back at School ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Tai was welcomed back by the other DigiDestined who had missed him and Koushirou profusely.  
  
"Hey Tai! How was New Zealand?" Daisuke asked as he met Tai in the hallway before classes started.  
  
"Well, I wouldn't know. We went to Australia, remember?"  
  
"Uh, actually, no. Anyway, where's Koushirou?"  
  
"He's at the doctor's office right now. He wasn't feeling well for most of the trip. Mara wanted to get him checked out so she could have a bit of piece of mind." Tai stuffed his heavy coat in his locker and started pulling out his books.  
  
"I bet you worried about him more than she did, right Tai?" a female voice asked from directly behind him. Tai turned to see Sora standing there, holding her books.  
  
"Pretty much. He felt so tired almost the whole time. He didn't make an issue out of it, so I didn't either."  
  
"That is so like Kou-chan," she said as she leaned against the lockers beside him. "He wanted to make sure you had a good time, right?"  
  
"That's my conclusion, Sora," Tai said as he finally got his locker to close with the enormous parka inside.  
  
"Come on guys, we don't want to be late, do you?" Daisuke asked as he tugged at Tai's sleeve. Tai grinned at him and the three of them walked off to their separate but nearby classrooms.  
  
Once lunch rolled around they all got together and Tai told them all of the wonderful sights and memories of their trip. Sora was looking all dreamy eyed for most of it, busy imagining herself there.  
  
"Oh Tai, you all must have had such a grand time. I hope I can go there someday. You got to dive on the Great Barrier Reef. Wow. That right there would have made the trip worth it."  
  
"It was awesome diving on the reef, Sora. We were going to go to another group of islands and dive there. Koushirou was wanting to see all the sunken warships that littered the waters around the islands. [[That would be the Solomon Is., in case you care. Around 40 ships litter the bottom of the sea between the islands, causing it to be renamed 'Iron- Bottom Sound' Why do I know all this? Well, my major is history. Go figure. Anyway, back to the show]] We didn't go, though. The weather around the dive sites was too rough." Tai told the group. He really wasn't that sad they'd missed it, since Koushirou had enough trouble diving in the calm waters of the reef.  
  
The rest of the lunch period was spent talking about what all he and Koushirou had missed while they were gone. All in all, they'd not missed too much. It was far too boring a week in the life of the Digi Destined. They all went back to class, happy to have seen Tai again but all a little worried about Koushirou.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Back in the Freezing Doctor's Office ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
About the time Tai and the others left the lunch room, the doctor and his nurse had nearly finished all their torturous schemes. He had been poked more times than he could remember. All the blood they took from him could have likely given a fish tank full of piranhas something to swim in [[Again, I butt in with useless knowledge. Piranhas can seriously live happily in a tank full of blood. I'm worried about how they figured that out..]]  
  
Koushirou and Mara were waiting in the examination room for the doctor to come back with news. Good or bad, Mara didn't care. She just wanted to know what was bothering her child. Finally, the doctor and his evil assistant, Nurse Kitara, entered the room.  
  
"Well, young master Izumi, I can tell you with complete certainty that you don't have the flu or nearly a dozen other common winter ailments." Koushirou looked over at his mum and grinned at her, his eyes telling her 'I told you so'. The doctor seemingly read Mara's mind and continued once she'd looked at him. "I don't know exactly what is bothering you, though, Koushirou. We are sending your blood out for further testing. Something isn't quite right, that much I'm sure." the doctor was holding Koushirou's chart while he spoke and was flipping through the few pages in there.  
  
"Koushirou, normally for a boy your age, a chart like this is about fifty pages thick. Yours is a total of..four pages, the last not even being half full." Koushirou didn't know what to say so he just shrugged his shoulders. "Of course, I'm not saying it is a bad thing for you to have such a little chart, though I could have bought that new Saab sooner had you gotten a bit sicker, it is just a little odd that all of a sudden.you know."  
  
"I understand, Doctor Kyoshi." Koushirou told him.  
  
"When will the results be back for all the blood tests?" Mara asked him point-blank.  
  
"We should have them back by sometime Thursday morning, three days from now."  
  
"Alright. I guess we should come back then, right?"  
  
"That will be fine. I'll have the nurse schedule you." Mara nodded and the doctor stepped out. The Izumi's coated up and headed out. They stopped for lunch, Mara's treat for Koushirou being 'such a big boy'. Koushirou hated when she did that but readily accepted the lovely fast food lunch. It was a hundred times better than school lunch anyway. He wiped some secret sauce off the He-Man band-aid that covered the site where he'd been lanced repeatedly for blood.  
  
  
  
Well, I guess that means that the next chapter is the watershed. We shall discover what is causing Koushirou all the problems. Boo hoo. Well, hope you liked it. Drop a review off and I'll get the next chapter up sometime during the week. Sorry for the useless info in the chapter. I just wanted to add it in. oh, and thanks to all the reviewers I have so far.  
  
energy 


	4. Landslide Chapter 4

Mara spent the three days after the doctor visit doing every single nervous thing except pace. She cleaned, she cooked, she cleaned more, she cooked more. The Izumi household had never been as immaculately clean nor filled with more delectable foods in all of Koushirou's years. Tai noticed Mara's behavior, of course, and could pretty much guess what the cause of it was. It seemed that Koushirou had just written it off to another one of his mum's manic moods. Just in case Koushirou might pick up on the worry vibes that were radiating from Mara, Tai kept Koushirou as busy as he possibly could.  
  
Koushirou had returned to school the following day and was greeted with the same questions that Tai received and then a few more. He told everyone that he was fine, just a little bug or something and the Digi Destined let it drop. Tai had already told them not to make a big deal out of it because it wasn't worth getting Koushirou worked up over it and they'd agreed.  
  
Tai, as much as he tried to not be, was making a big deal out of it to himself. He was hardly sleeping at night since he stayed awake listening to Koushirou breathe. Tai couldn't get the irrational fear out of his mind that each one might be the last. He knew better, but he couldn't get his brain to acknowledge that simple fact. He would doze off at around 3:00 or so at night and wake up a few hours later, exhausted.  
  
Wednesday, the day before the lab results came back, was the worst for Tai. He'd sat up until almost 5, thinking about all the horrible things that the doctors might tell them and cuddling Koushirou as close as possible without waking him. He'd gone through every single disease he could think of and then a few that he thought probably existed. He drug himself out of bed and crawled to the shower, hoping the water would wake him enough to slog through 8 hours of school.  
  
The two of them arrived at school and began the morning ritual of adolescence, hanging out with their friends. The day passed rather uneventfully, seeming to drag on forever to Tai. As they were leaving school, Koushirou was engaged in conversation with the rest of the group while Tai following behind, listening and worrying. Daisuke had followed them out, somehow not having detention for a change. He walked with them and saw Tai's expression while the others talked. He didn't like the look he saw at all. Tai's eyes had dark circles under them and he just looked completely disheveled.  
  
"Tai, can I talk to you a minute?" Daisuke asked. When Tai nodded affirmatively he and Tai slowed down a bit to let the others get out of ear shot.  
  
"What's on your mind, Dai?" Taichi asked the younger boy.  
  
"I'd like to know what's on yours, Tai. You look terrible."  
  
"I'm worried about Kou-chan, that's all."  
  
"And worrying makes you look that bad?" Tai didn't answer. "Tai, you know you can talk to me, right? About anything?"  
  
"I know, Daisuke, it's just that this isn't really anything I can talk about I guess."  
  
"If I remember correctly, that's the same thing you said way-back- when, before you got the courage to tell Kou-kun how you felt about him."  
  
"This is different," Tai said, attempting to put Dai off. Dai would have no part of that action though.  
  
"Really? Why don't you try me?"  
  
"It just is, I really don't know if I can explain it, Daisuke."  
  
"We do have a little bit of a walk home, you know, so you might as well try."  
  
"You're not going to stop until I tell you, are you?"  
  
"Nope," Daisuke said grinning at him. "We've been friends for a long time now, Taichi Kamiya, and I don't want to see you this way."  
  
"Alright. Here it is in a nutshell." Tai slowed down a bit further and Daisuke followed suit. The others were almost fifty feet ahead now. "I honestly don't know what I would do if I lost him, Daisuke. I don't know if you can understand where I'm coming from but if he weren't here with me, I think I'd lose it."  
  
"Wait a sec. He's not going anywhere yet, Taichi, not for a long time."  
  
"I want to believe you're right, but I just have this feeling deep inside my stomach. I can't help it. Every time I look at him, I have the feeling in the back of my head that it might be the last time I see him, ever."  
  
"You know that's not true, right?"  
  
"No," Tai said and began studying the ground.  
  
"He'll be fine, Tai, just wait and see."  
  
"I hope you're right, Dai, I really do."  
  
They continued their walk home, rejoining the others almost unnoticed. They slowly dropped numbers as the kids passed their homes, eventually leaving only Tai and Koushirou to walk the last few blocks.  
  
"So, what were you and Daisuke back there whispering about, Tai- chan?"  
  
"Nothing really, just...nothing."  
  
"Taichi, you still can't lie to me very well, can you?" Koushirou asked with a grin.  
  
"I guess not," Tai lied to him again, only this time Koushirou bought it hook, line and sinker. Of all the times for me to fail a bluff He thought to himself. "We were just talking Koushirou, nothing special. I'd not really talked to him in the past few days and we had a little catching up to do." That's better, now the poker face is working again Tai told himself after Koushirou nodded and let it go. They walked into their building and took the elevator up.  
  
As Koushirou turned the knob, he heard his mother on the phone. "Sure, we'll be down there as soon as possible. Thank you, Doctor Kyoshi." Mara replaced the handset on the mount and turned to face her two children as they stepped in the door. "Doctor Kyoshi wants us to come down to the office as soon as we can. He said the lab results came in already."  
  
"Wouldn't he say what it was over the phone?" Koushirou asked as he stopped taking his coat off, having a feeling that he'd be walking back out the door in a moment or two.  
  
"No, I think he was really busy at the time," Mara said, thankful that her son had yet to pick up on when she was selling him a lie. "So, why don't we go on and get down there?" She asked and walked toward the boys.  
  
As Tai heard Mara say those few words, he instinctively knew that something was wrong. He knew it as well as he knew his own name. His heart sunk into his shoes and he tried his best to not meet Koushirou's eyes at that moment. He did meet Mara's and she almost imperceptibly nodded at him. Tai swallowed hard and zipped his coat back up and followed the Izumi's out.  
  
The trip to the doctor's office had to be the longest in human memory for Tai and Mara. Usually Mara was singing along with the radio, doing her best to embarrass her sons, but today she was barely humming along, seeming to space out. Tai was looking out the window at the slush on the side of the road, trying to push all the horrible thoughts out of his mind. He would feel Koushirou looking at him and turn and smile then turn back and study the slush more. Koushirou was listening to the music and trying to figure out what was wrong with the other two people in the car with him.  
  
When they arrived at the office, Mara and Tai took the walk as slowly as they could, almost as if they were walking to their own execution. Koushirou was at the door waiting for them, a bit puzzled but not thinking too much about it. He was ready for Doctor Kyoshi to tell him he was perfectly fine. [[A/N: I'm trying to make Koushirou not worry about this at all. I'm also writing him as rather non-perceptive for a change. I'm sorta tired of Koushirou always knowing everything about everyone in fan fiction]]  
  
Koushirou led them into the office and allowed his mum to go to the window to sign in. "The doctor will see you all in just a minute or two, Mrs. Izumi," the receptionist nurse told her and Mara nodded. They took three of the more comfortable seats and waited in near silence. Finally another nurse poked her head out of the door and ushered the three of them into a smaller reception room. They'd removed their coats and had only begun to settle in when Doctor Kyoshi stepped into the room.  
  
"Hello everyone. Like I told you on the phone, Mrs. Izumi, the results came in early." Mara nodded her head. "Can I get anyone something to drink before we start?"  
  
Oh, this is not good. Not good at all Tai was thinking to himself as he somehow found the breath to say that he'd like a glass of water. The doctor returned with a handful of drinks and sat down, crossing one leg on the other at the knee.  
  
"So, Doctor Kyoshi, what did the results say?" Mara and Tai asked at almost the exact same time.  
  
"Well, what I'm about to tell you is about the last thing I expected and the last thing I would want to tell you," the doctor began, a pained look growing on his face. Mara and Tai were sitting on the end of their seats and even Koushirou was looking a bit concerned.  
  
"Koushirou, the lab results came back and they found that you have," the doctor stopped for a second and took a deep breath, "Leukemia." Mara and Tai gasped. Koushirou's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his head.  
  
"I have what?"  
  
"Leukemia. Basically it's cancer of the bone marrow."  
  
"So, how bad off am I?" Koushirou asked, the realization of what he had just been diagnosed with hitting him like a ton of bricks.  
  
"We're really lucky you came in when you did, Koushirou," the doctor told him. "Right now we can treat it. Had you not come in for another few weeks the outlook might not have been so bright."  
  
"What are we going to do, Doctor Kyoshi?" Mara asked him.  
  
"What I think we should do is start Koushirou on a round of chemotherapy as soon as possible, maybe tomorrow if possible. I know a good oncologist you should see, Dr. Makoto. [[A/N: an oncologist is a doctor that specializes in dealing with cancer, in case you didn't know]] Let me go get his information for you. I'll be right back." Doctor Kyoshi left the room and the Izumi's in silence. Tai looked over at Koushirou and saw that his koi's eyes were as wide as pie plates and his skin was whiter than a bed sheet. He reached a hand over and took Koushirou's in it and gave it a squeeze.  
  
"Don't worry about it for a second, Kou-chan, we'll kick this. You'll see."  
  
  
  
There is chapter four. Finally. This story refused to be written for about a week, then it pretty much fell onto the keyboard tonight. It's a little shorter than I expected, but I wanted to get the moment over with. You can look forward to a bunch of angst, most of it from Tai. Also featured will be Koushirou's thoughts about his new affliction. Daisuke will also take a staring role in this, becoming Tai's shoulder to cry on since he won't do it in front of Kou-chan. Don't expect any Taisuke though, at least not in this story.  
  
Thanks go out to Yaegashi Yoshiki (who had better write my BWG X Iori fic sometime soon ^_^ ), Jay Man, Electric Star, Tasha, and tamagochi (I'll spell that right eventually, I promise) for reading this thing. You might want to get your boxes of tissue handy, since I'm sensing major sadness ahead. Thanks again  
  
energy 


	5. Landslide Chapter 5

Okay, I finally update Landslide. It took forever to do this. Sorry. It's kind of short, but it's a start. Anyway, here we go.  
  
  
  
Tai and the Izumis went to visit Dr. Makoto the following day. He led them back into a comfortable room and closed the door behind them. Tai watched Koushirou sit down, obviously more frightened than he would ever begin to let on. Tai wanted to grab a hold of him and never let him go but restrained the urge.  
  
"I wish we could have met under better circumstances, but we haven't, so I guess we should just get right into it," Dr. Makoto said, breaking the short silence.  
  
"I agree, Dr. What are we going to do?" Mara asked.  
  
"Well, unless I'm wrong, your doctor likely gave you a mountain of things to read about leukemia and you likely read them all from cover to end, right?" Mara nodded that she had. "Let me start by saying that having caught Koushirou's leukemia this early gives him a very high chance of beating it. You are very lucky, young man," the doctor said, nodding toward Koushirou. Koushirou didn't reply. He seemed to have lost his voice the second they walked through the door.  
  
"What we are going to do is put Koushirou on the standard rounds of chemotherapy." Dr. Makoto went on to explain all the possible side effects of the chemo and answered the dozens of questions from Mara. About an hour later they left the office, having made and appointment at the hospital for the beginning of the next week. The drive home was one that was much more animated than the drive to the office. Mara was singing and Tai was busy talking like normal. Only Koushirou was quiet. He spent the drive looking out the window, lost in his world. Tai and Mara attempted to get him to talk but he really didn't feel like it.  
  
The fact was that Koushirou was scared. More scared than he'd ever been in his whole life, short as it may have been. All the days in the digital world were nothing compared to this. Devimon? Bah. Etemon? Yeah, sure. Not scary. Cancer? Now that was scary.  
  
The heart of the matter, Koushirou had decided sometime during his ride home, was that in the digital world he could rely on himself, his partner, and his friends, all of whom he trusted implicitly. With this, he had to rely on doctors and the imperfect science of medicine. Also, as dangerous as the digital world had been, there wasn't anything that made him feel mortal. After all the challenges that the Digi-Destined had been through they felt like they were bulletproof. Now came cancer. Koushirou now felt quite mortal.  
  
Sometime during the ride he had fallen asleep because he awoke to a light tapping on the window of the car. Koushirou groggily opened his eyes and looked out the foggy window to see Tai standing outside it with that goofy grin on his face. Tai motioned for him to get out of the car already and started walking away, back to their building.  
  
Koushirou slowly woke up. He didn't really remember feeling all that tired when he had gotten in the car, but during the long drive home on the highway the rhythmic sounds of the tires had put him out like a candle's flame on a windy day. He stretched and opened the door and stepped out into the lovely frigid weather. Koushirou trudged after Tai and his mum and followed them to their apartment.  
  
Mara started fixing lunch for the two of them, since she herself was too nervous to even want to consider eating at this point. After a meal of sandwiches and orange juice she excused herself and walked back into her bedroom and closed the door, presumably to take a little nap.  
  
"Koushirou, are you feeling bad right now? You've hardly said a single word all day. In fact, I don't think you said anything at the doctor's office at all."  
  
"I don't know Tai, I just feel scared, I guess."  
  
"You don't have to be afraid, Koushirou. We're all here for you. You'll beat this thing by summer, you just wait and see," Tai told him, wrapping the boy in a huge, enthusiastic bear hug.  
  
"Thanks, Tai," Koushirou smiled and relaxed against him. After a little while Koushirou got up. "I think I'm going to go take a little nap, Tai. I just got incredibly tired all of a sudden."  
  
"So I'm not comfortable enough?" Tai asked jokingly. "Go on, Koushirou. I'll see you in a little while."  
  
"You're pretty comfortable but your ribs are poking me in the head. How do you eat so much and still be skinnier than I am?" Koushirou grinned at him and walked back into their bedroom. Tai heard the door close and his eyes filled with tears. He buried his face in his hands and cried.  
  
Tai eventually composed himself and started flipping through the television channels to try to take his mind off the current situation. Not surprisingly, nothing was on except garbage. He flipped it off and tried to read through a soccer magazine but found that equally unentertaining. He looked over at his coat and decided to go take a stroll to the mall to get his mind cleared. Nothing was better to distract oneself than watching all the weird people at the mall.  
  
Tai scribbled a quick note to Mara and Koushirou and quietly closed the door. He soon decided that it was quite cold but he picked his pace up and made it to the mall before his ears went completely numb. As he entered the stream of humanity he felt a little better. He grabbed a soda from a little stand and took a seat and watched the people roll by. He sat in the same spot for a good half hour, losing himself in the throngs of mothers and little children scurrying to and fro.  
  
Tai grinned as he watched a little boy throwing coins in a fountain. He finished his soda and walked over to the fountain after tossing his cup away. He reached into his pocket and fished out a coin himself. He looked upward, through the skylight that lit the fountain, and made his wish. The coin flipped through the air and landed in the water with hardly a splash. He smiled faintly and walked away. His mood was markedly improved and he soon left the mall and made his way back to the Izumi household. Even the bitter wind didn't seem quite as cold on his return home.  
  
  
  
Sorry this took so long, but my little notebook that had all my notes for this story as well as a few others has completely vanished from the face of the earth. I've given up on finding it now so I'm just going to write this story as it comes to me. I can't guarantee that it will end up the same way as I had planned originally, so it might not be quite as sad as I was intending for it to be. Who knows? Maybe Koushirou will beat the leukemia after all... There will be a lot of emotions coming up, I do know that much, so get ready.  
  
Let me know what you all think in a review if you would be so kind.  
  
energy 


	6. Landslide Chapter 6 Hurt

I find it a bit odd that a songfic gets inspired by another song. I was sitting down to start typing this when Johnny Cash's cover of 'Hurt' by Nine Inch Nails came on CMT. At first I wasn't sure that I would like him covering a NIN song, since he and NIN are at two opposite ends of the music spectrum, but I was wrong. He did a wonderful job on it. If you've not heard it, I would suggest you download it as well as the NIN version. The lyrics combined with Cash's unique voice expressed about every single thing I wanted to put into this chapter. This chapter is mostly from Koushirou's POV, and I've not written a first person view yet, so bear with me if it seems a bit odd. It feels odd writing that way after all the other things I've written in the third person.  
  
Koushirou's POV I opened the car door and sunk into the seat. I'd just finished another morning of chemotherapy and I feel completely awful. It feels like my body is going to churn itself into little pieces. I'm starving right now but I know that I can't eat anything until later on if I don't want it to come right back up.  
  
"So how do you feel, Koushirou?" my mother asked me as she fastened her seatbelt and keyed the ignition.  
  
"Pretty much like I was just hit by a train, Mum," I tell her as I manage to fasten my own seatbelt. Every single little movement I made hurt. It was like my insides didn't fit anymore.  
  
We drive home in near silence. Mum stopped trying to make conversation after a few moments on the highway. I know that she really means well, but I hardly have the energy to even speak right now. I feel so bad for doing that to her, but I know she understands. She looks over while she's driving every few moments to check on me, quickly, as to not let me notice her doing it. I see her but let on as if I don't. I don't know what to say to her. 'I'm still alive'? I don't know. I let the hum of the engine carry me off to sleep.  
  
I wake up as we pull into our parking lot. I feel just a bit better now after my half hour nap. Not too much better, just a precious little bit, enough to let me climb out of the car and make it up to our apartment. I glance at the clock as I walk into my room and see that it's almost noon. Tai was likely eating lunch right about now and he should be home in about two hours or so. Maybe I'll take a little nap so I'll be halfway sociable when he gets here. End Koushirou's POV  
  
Mara picked the phone up and dialed her husband's overseas number. After five rings it was picked up.  
  
"Hello honey. How is he today?"  
  
"Luke, he's...I don't know. I don't know what is worse on him, the cancer or the chemotherapy. Koushirou's become a little husk of what he was. He hardly eats and when he does he has to force himself to do it. Tai is doing everything he can, Luke, and it's not fair for him. He shouldn't have to witness Koushirou going through all this and then try to help him."  
  
"I know. It isn't fair any way around, Mara. We've all been dealt a harsh hand and we have to play through it."  
  
"I know. They're just so young still, Luke. We're adults, they're barely teenagers. They shouldn't have to deal with anything like this. They should be dealing with math homework and dances and things like that, not cancer."  
  
"Mara, I know. Believe me, I know. I'm sure it's even harder on you since I've not even in Japan right now."  
  
"That doesn't make it easier, no. How long till you get to come home?"  
  
"Two more days. I'll be home by Friday."  
  
"Good. We need you here, Luke, we really do. The phone isn't a good substitute for a father or husband."  
  
"I know. I've almost got everything worked out here so as soon as we get the final contracts signed I will be on a plane."  
  
"Alright. I'll talk to you later."  
  
"Goodbye Mara. Hug the boys for me."  
  
"I will." Mara hung up the phone and sat in one of the dining room chairs. She simultaneously cursed and thanked his job for keeping him away right now. Luke never really was one for dealing with a crisis. He always had a knack for doing the least productive thing. It wasn't out of spite or anything like that, it was just that he always seemed to freeze up or something like it. But, she needed him here for moral support. It was hard being the strong one for two additional people beside herself. Tai would never admit it even if he was tortured, but he was hurting terribly. He tried to do everything he could for his boyfriend. Mara moved out into the living room and flipped the television on and lost herself in whatever show happened to come on.  
  
At School One month had passed since Koushirou had begun the chemotherapy and two weeks since he'd withdrawn from school. It was too much for him right now. As he sat down at the lunch table with his friends, he looked at the empty seat next to him. It was Koushirou's seat. No one had dared sit in it. It sat empty as a remembrance for him.  
  
"So Tai, any good news?" Sora asked him as he began picking at his food.  
  
"No. The doctors said that it's still too early to know anything. They're going to reevaluate him next week."  
  
Silence descended on the table. No one really knew anything to say to Tai anymore. Unintentional and unbearable distance had appeared between most of the group and Tai since Koushirou became ill. None of the other kids knew what to do. It hurt them greatly but...  
  
Tai moved his mashed potatoes around on his plate without bothering to look up. He knew that the others would all be looking at him with that 'I'm so sorry' glance. That was nice and all, but it didn't help. It didn't help his Koushirou at all. Actually, it was starting to make him mad.  
  
Suddenly about to cry for no apparent reason, Tai picked his tray up and quickly tossed it into the garbage and left the cafeteria. The stunned Digi-Destined watched him go. Once he got his faculties back, Daisuke followed him, turning to the others and giving them a withering stare.  
  
Daisuke followed Tai down the halls, tracking him into an empty classroom. Dai slowly opened the door and looked in. He saw Tai sitting by the window, looking out with tears rolling down his face. Daisuke stood there for a moment, trying to decide if he should go in or not. He never wanted anyone around when he got sad and he didn't know if Tai would like it either. But, no matter how much he hated it when Jun or someone butted in on his moments, he always felt better after he talked to them. So, Dai steeled himself and headed over to Tai.  
  
"Hey Tai, want to talk?" Dai asked in a voice so kind that it seemed alien coming from him.  
  
Tai looked from the window and Dai felt instant sorrow for him. "I don't know, Dai. I don't know if it would help or not."  
  
"You don't know until you try." Dai pulled a chair over to Tai and sat close. "Just start talking. Say whatever you want." Daisuke went quiet and waited for Tai to start talking.  
  
"It's not fair, Daisuke, not fair at all," Tai finally said. "He shouldn't have to go through this. He's just fourteen." Tai looked away again before he continued. "I don't know what I will do if, well, I don't know what I will do."  
  
"Don't even talk like that, Tai. That is not going to happen. Doctors are incredibly smart people and they'll find him a way to beat it."  
  
"You haven't seen him recently, Dai." Daisuke gave him an eyebrow. "Well, okay, you have, but none of the others have. He's wasting away. I don't know which is worse; the cure or the disease. He can't eat hardly anything at all. I wouldn't be surprised if Iori weighs more than he does now, Dai. I really wouldn't. The chemotherapy makes him so tired. It is all he can do to stay awake and talk when I get home." Tai trailed off and cried a little. Daisuke put an arm around his shoulders for comfort.  
  
"Do you have any idea of what that is like, Daisuke? How hard it is? To see the one you care about more than anything else in the world slowly falling away?"  
  
"No. No I don't. I don't know if I could stand it." Tai completely lost it then and Dai pulled him close and held him.  
  
Koushirou's POV I woke up at about 1:30 or so to a dull ache over my entire body. It used to hurt a lot more when I first started on the treatments. I don't know if I'm getting used to them or if I just don't feel it anymore. I don't know which I want to believe. Neither of them sound too good. I guess it's just a part of me now, the pain that is. I don't remember not feeling it anymore. What the? There is a large bruise on my arm. When did I do that? I don't remember that at all.  
  
Slowly I get up and make my way to the kitchen to fix a peanut butter sandwich. That is about the only thing that I can eat these days. That and toast. What a delicious menu. I set the sandwich on a plate and poured a little bit of apple juice. Bread, peanut butter, and apple juice. That's what my diet has consisted of for the last month or so. No wonder I'm so thin.  
  
Mum is sleeping on the couch now. Even in her sleep she looks pained. I'm sorry, Mum. I really am. I don't want you to suffer with me. This is my disease, not yours. I ease into a chair and slowly eat my sandwich. Where is the remote? I don't particularly want to watch this show. Ah, there it is. Let's see what's on. Nope. Nope. Nope. What is that music channel that Tai always watches? 66? Is that what it is? Yes, there we go. Johnny Cash? I've not heard from him in a while. This must be a new song... End Koushirou's POV  
  
  
  
Hmmm...boy this chapter got dark in a hurry. I think it's some of the best stuff I've written, even though I'm not sure if I did the first person good enough. Oh well, let me know. And I bet you can guess what Koushirou turned on to, right? I thought so. Here are the lyrics if you care...  
  
  
  
I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel  
  
I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real  
  
the needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting  
  
try to kill it all away, but I remember everything  
  
what have I become? my sweetest friend?  
  
everyone I know, goes away in the end  
  
you could have it all, my empire of dirt  
  
I will let you down, I will make you hurt  
  
I wear my crown of shit on my liar's chair,  
  
full of broken thoughts, I cannot repair  
  
beneath the stain of time, the feeling disappears  
  
you are someone else, I am still right here  
  
what have I become? my sweetest friend?  
  
everyone I know, goes away in the end  
  
you could have it all, my empire of dirt  
  
I will let you down, I will make you hurt  
  
if I could start again, a million miles away  
  
I would keep myself, I would find a way  
  
Trent Reznor & NIN "Hurt" Covered by Johnny Cash on the album "The Man Comes Around" 


End file.
